Life is about letting go, while staying in control; and this has been a issue for me since I was little. I was afraid of skiing, skating, biking, surfing or anything that involved me in letting momentum or flow take over. I n the more spiritual level, I had issues letting go and could feel the effects of the stress was having on me. I know I had to learn to let go. I learned this during a Pull ceremony.
            The Pull ceremony is an American Indian ritual that has been embraced as a spiritual practice by the BDSM community. Pull ceremony consisted in: getting temporally pierced in the chest, hooks attached to piercing, the hooks attached to twinge, connected to the ceiling; then you lean back at your level of comfort or discomfort that doesn’t completely freak you out.
            I was most comfortable standing completely straight up and only swaying back slightly while holding on to a chair next to me. One of the faciilaters moved my chair away as he stood behind me and helped me safely and bravely (sort of) lean back. After he left, I started to work on safely letting myself let go and lean back.  While I had let go of my chair safety blanket; I was somewhat calmed by the knowledge that the wall wasn’t that far away from me. I leaned back with the faith that I was safe as long as I believed and the wall was on my side.